A color printer works best for this, so you can easily select colors. Stitch Count: 85W x 53H. "I love you more than coffee, just not always before coffee." Design Size: 6" x 7", "Wine gets better with age. Model stitched one over two on 40 Ct. Cocoa using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks (or all DMC floss 924, 436, 356, 221, 3364, 680, 3818, Ecru, 939, 3064, 3834, 730, 3778, 3829, 3768, 935). Design Size: 5" x 5", Model stitched over two on 28 Ct. Specialty Stitch: French Knots. Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch count is 134W x 86H. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the … See more ideas about subversive cross stitch, cross stitch patterns, cross stitch … Free counted cross stitch patterns to download and print online. Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Country French Latte linen with Weeks Dye Works floss. Nov 16, 2020 - Explore Subversive Cross Stitch's board "Subversive Cross Stitch PDF patterns", followed by 5225 people on Pinterest. Part of HuffPost Comedy. Stitch Count: 77 x 44. Many Christmas themed projects will keep you busy from now until Christmas Eve. Design Size: 5 1/8" x 5 1/4", "Stitching each day keeps the crazy away!" I want to start cross stitching for this book! Zweigart 16 Count Dirty Aida Fabric 18x21. Stitch count: 82 x 54. Design Size: 8" x 4". Stitch Count: 112W x 87H. Pay attention to the number of legs to understand this one. Source: Watty's Wall Stuff And Cross Stitchery. Stitch Count: 77W x 72H. Download this free guide about how to cross stitch on evenweaves and linens. Checkout as guest Register with an email address and password. Learn how to cross stitch, get new ideas, browse complete patterns and instructions, and much more! Kits, PDF patterns, supplies and inspiration, since 2003. Lol Ways. Design Size: 4 3/4" x 7", "Please, give me coffee to change the things I can, Wine to accept the things I can't AND send chocolate when I can't tell the difference!" Stitch Count: 80H x 58W. This new anniversary edition of her classic Subversive Cross Stitch celebrates more than 10 years of delightfully snarky, in-your-face cross stitch with 50 full-color patterns and 17 brand-new designs, including "Don't Be Such A Baby" and "Cheer Up, Loser." "If at first you don't succeed do what your wife said!" Plus, use our caption/border maker tool to chart your own words. Download an unlimited amount of free cross-stitch patterns after signing up for a free membership at FreePatterns.com. SIZE 14 counts AIDA fabric: 9,71" x 11,07" = 24.66 cm x 28.11 cm = 136 x 155 stitches You get in your Etsy mail box: - 1 symbols PDF chart… (NSFWish.) Add your voice. Uses DMC floss. Snarky cross stitch kits, patterns and supplies for the modern crafter. Stitch Count: 166W x 165H. Look at patterns that reflect your skill level. Funny/Dirty Cross Stitch Patterns $ 8.99. Stitch Count: 89W x 81H. Specialty Stitch: French Knot. Login New Shopper Checkout as guest Login Register Save Cart Save Cart Cancel. Take your time! Just make sure to hide them whenever Nana visits. Kincavel Krosses . 3 … Stitch Count: 89W x 57H. Cross stitch instruction and inspiration! THIS IS A DIGITAL PATTERN for INSTANT DOWNLOAD. (DMC alternates are 898 315 907 600 894 3809 906 964) Stitch count 85x108. Print out one of our free patterns to see how our site works. The older I get the better I like it. "A stitch a day keeps the crazy away." If you are not sure what type of image might make a good cross stitch design, then look at existing cross stitch patterns for inspiration. Design Size: 5 1/4" x 3 1/4", "I don't have a problem with coffee. Sorry I'm Not Sorry Pattern Stitch count: 32W x 62H. See more ideas about cross stitch, stitch, cross stitch patterns. Design Size: 7" x 11". Design Size: 5.75" x 5.25", Model stitched over two on 28 Ct. I have a problem without coffee." With over 17,000 cross stitch patterns, leaflets and books available, we're sure you can find the perfect pattern! Stitch count is 127W x 33H. Stitch Count: 68W x 98H. Modern cross stitch kits and patterns by the best contemporary designers, including Satsuma Street, Red Gate Stitchery, Tiny Moderninst, Gera, and more. Uses Mill Hill Glass Seed Beads and a Tiny Tuscan Sun Swirly Bud by Just Another Button Company. Stitch Count: 85W x 53H. Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and DMC. Never Laugh . Stitch Count: 67W x 99H. "May the light always find you on a dreary day. Model stitched on 32ct. Includes wine bottle charm. Animals, flowers, holidays and children s designs are all available. Add to Favorites Funny Cross Stitch Pattern - PDF Download - "Bow Down Bitches" - Great for beginners! Design Size: 12" x 3", Model stitched over two on 28 Ct. Feb 28, 2018 - Explore Kirsten Donk's board "Vulgar/humorous cross stitches", followed by 883 people on Pinterest. These, however, are not those types of cross stitches. Cross stitch is back, but don’t tell your grandma — unless she has a wicked sense of humor. Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Classic Colorworks floss. "Welcome to the Rest of Your Life" is stitched on 28 count Sand Quaker with a stitch count of 80W x 68H. Best of all, most have patterns available for download, which means you can get your stitch on and show your sense of humor at the same time. Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and a Just Another Button Company button. Stitch Count: 77W x 59H. Julie Jackson of Subversive Cross Stitch created custom patterns just for us. Stitch count: 91 x 90. "You're okay - I guess" Model stitched on 18 count River Rock Aida with Classic Colorworks, Gentle Art and Weeks Dye Works thread. Design Size: 7" x 6", "When, what to my wondering eyes did appear but ten extra pounds on my thighs and my rear." Login. Stitch Count: 83W x 84H. "Retirement is a Full Time Job" is stitched on 28 count Country French Latte Linen with a stitch count of 54W x 72H. Important conversations are happening now. Thanks to irony-loving hipsters, grandma's outdated wall-hangings have gone through quite the renaissance. What do you need to build a snowman? Stitch Count: 69W x 67H. Stitch count: 109w x 45h. Feb 6, 2019 - Explore sewguide.com's board "Cross stitch", followed by 51170 people on Pinterest. "Dog Hair....just another specialty fiber!" (DMC alternates are 3740 745 3052 937 3802 223). Julie Jackson is back and more subversive than ever! Book #130. Framed model stitched on 30 Ct. Tin Roof and pillow model stitched on 20 Ct. Guacamole using Classic Colorworks (or all DMC floss 902, 603, 151 319, 156, 333, 729, 676, 470, 472). Design Size: 5.25" x 6.5", "The personal is political it always has been" Model stitched over two 32 Ct. Blush lien using DMC floss. Add to Favorites Dirty Cross Stitch Pattern - PDF Download - "We have sex in here" - Great for beginners! Model stitched two over two on 32 Ct. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and shown with buttons from Just Another Button Company. Pink from Fabric Flair, Small pillow stitched on 35 Ct. Sophia's Pink and Framed model stitched on 28 Ct. Kermit using DMC floss. 16 of 24. The stitch count is 70W x 70H. Variations included for "eat the cupcake", "eat the cookie", and "eat the snack." Look at cross stitch pattern books in your local craft supply store, or search for cross stitch patterns online. Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Classic Colorworks floss. 19 Hilariously NSFW Cross Stitches You Won't Find In Grandma's House. "World's Longest Coffee Break" is stitched on 32 count Lambswool Linen with a stitch count of 69W x 68H. "It IS all about me!" All rights reserved. If you have a partner that makes fun of your choices in life, remind them that they were one of those choices. Category: Patriotic. When stitched on 14/28 count fabric, this design fits nicely into a standard 5" x 7" frame. Sarcasm is My Love Language - Cross Stitch Pattern from My Big Toe Designs. New Shopper. Learn how to stitch, find free patterns and projects, and see the best in modern cross stitch. The first in a "Bad Neighborhoods" series - featuring dead fish floating in the water! Also required not listed above Rainbow Gallery Petite Sparkle Rays #PS42 and Caron Collection Rachelette #A89. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately. Connie G. Barwick. Choose from hundreds of inspiring, free needlecraft patterns designed by talented artists from around the world. "I'm sorry, did my eyes roll out loud" - Model stitched over 2 threads on 30 Ct. Grasshopper linen. Model stitched on 30 Ct. Model stitched one over two on 28 Ct. Vintage Cashel using French Blue Dark Silk N Colors. Specialty Stitch Used: French Knots. Design Size: 6" x 3" "Trust me you can dance love, wine" (with variations for beer, vodka & tequila) - Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 ct. Flapper linen. lambswool linen using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. The original source of cross stitch samplers with updated snarky sentiments. With over 200 designs, you'll find something here that is perfect for your next cross stitch project. "A place for everything and nothing in it's place!" Stitch Count: 126W x 98H. "Wine a bit... you'll feel better!" Written by. Creme Brulee using DMC & Crescent Colours. A list of Cross Stitch Patterns and Cross Stitch Kits available at Everything Cross Stitch. Stitch Count for Framed: 180W x 74H, Design Size: 12" x 5" For Pillow: 62W x 41H, 4" x 3". "Life's journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well preserved body but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting holy cow what a ride". Cross Stitch Patterns, Cross Stitch Kits, Fabric, Floss, Thread, Painted or Printed Needlepoint Canvas (1), Sarcasm is My Love Language - Cross Stitch Pattern, Coffee Drinker's Confession - Cross Stitch Pattern, Do What Your Wife Said - Cross Stitch Pattern, Stitching Each Day - Cross Stitch Pattern, All You Need Is Love - Cross Stitch Pattern, Well Behaved Women - Cross Stitch Pattern, When I am Old I Will Rock Girls Night Out, Personal Is Political - Cross Stitch Pattern, When I Am Old I Will Sing in the Rain - Cross Stitch Pattern, Coffee, Wine, Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern, Choose Your Own Motto Sampler - Cross Stitch Pattern, Place For Everything, A - Cross Stitch Pattern. These, however, are not those types of cross stitches. When you think "cross stitch," you probably picture a dusty, framed piece of embroidery in your grandma's bathroom that says "Home Is Where The Heart Is.". $ 1.49. Stitch count is 221W x 72H. Model stitched over two on 32 Ct. Azure Blue Lugana using Weeks Dye Works (or DMC floss white, 369, 938, 902, 471, 3819, 3716, 223). Don't be shy - "Wine a bit, You'll feel Better!" Six Free Downloadable Subversive Cross-Stitch Patterns and Instructions Give everyone a little attitude with needle and thread. Scroll down for 19 of our favorite modern day cross stitches and remember, home is where the @$#% is. (DMC alternates are 931 729 347 3823 3362 930), "Bad decisions make great stories" Model stitched over two on 32 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan using Weeks Dye Works and Classic Colorworks (or DMC floss 3371 3362 316). Crafting with a healthy dose of teen angst. Connie is a cross stitch expert with over 40 years of experience who's written nearly 100 articles for The Spruce Crafts. Beige linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads (or DMC 3013, 3328, 3854, 3835, 3773, 746, 801, 3363, 932, 612). These are NSFW only if your workplace looks down on cross-stitched penises. Antique White Jobelan using Weeks Dye Works (or DMC floss 320, 3746, 645, 3804, 3766, 7250. Stitch Count: 68 x 47. When you think "cross stitch," you probably picture a dusty, framed piece of embroidery in your grandma's bathroom that says "Home Is Where The Heart Is." (DMC alternates are 726 912 3832 902 3776 3716 353 938 422 612 3815 321 white) Stitch Count: 96W x 145H. Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Weeks Dye Works thread, and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. "Wouldn't life be great if sweatpants were sexy, Mondays were fun, junk food was good for you, girls didn't cause so much drama, guys weren't so confusing, and saying goodbye only meant until tomorrow". If there is anything we can do to help you please let us know. "You & I are sisters. I have a prescriptions. Stitch Count: 67W x 67H. Today is National Voter Registration Day! There are 535 items in this collection. Stitch count: 75w x 85h. Model stitched over 2 threads on 36 Ct. Vintage Lentil with Weeks Dye Works floss and Gentle Art Sampler threads. Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 94W x 121H. ©2021 Verizon Media. "4 out of 5 voices in my head say...eat the chocolate!" ", Models stitched over two threads on 32 count linen using DMC thread. When you need a home may you find your way. Stitch Count: 57x80. Cross stitch this pattern on a laundry bag or frame it with a hoop and hang it in your laundry room. Finished size: 4" x 4". Stitch count: 45 x 101H. Model stitched over two on 30 Ct. Parchment Linen by Weeks Dye Works using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts floss. On the review copies, we don't see all of the patterns but see the titles of them all and boy does this book look fun! Also includes stitching sizes using 14, 16 and 18 count. Choose from Annie's wide range of counted cross stitch patterns to find a project perfect for your home décor, gift giving, or other creative use. Comes with a button. Model stitched two over two on 28 Ct. Cream linen (or similar) with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works floss and DMC (or all DMC floss 744, 3811, 3705, 829, 3848, 731, 3348). Stitch Count: 67W x 67H. Enjoy your shopping! Featured Freebies at FreeXStitch.com: Free Cross Stitch Patterns. Specialty Stitched Used: French Knot. Stitch count: 44W x 101H. Nov 11, 2019 - Funny cross stitch pattern sassy naughty curse swear F word subversive cross stitch modern stitching funy wall art DeLorai patterns. Stitch Count: 82W x 72h. Model stitched over 2 on 28 Ct. Country French Latte using Gentle Art threads. Wheat Lugana using DMC floss. - Page 1 Connie G. Barwick. Stitch Count: 72W x 92H. MOdel stitched one thread over two on 40 Ct. Wren using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks (or all DMC 829, 842, 3371 730, 420, 840, 610, 839, 355) Stitch Count: 150W x 70H. Antique White Jobelan using DMC six strand and Etoile floss and Kreinik #4 Braid. Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Crescent Colours thread, Weeks Dye Works thread, and DMC floss (or all DMC 3031, 3687, 3807, 3828, 3790, 731, 3813). Model stitched on 30 Ct. Lilac linen by Weeks Dye Works with Sullivan's floss. Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana. Design Size: 8" x 6 1/4", "All I'm saying is that you've never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time." Rude cross stitch puts to shame all the throw pillows … May you always have courage to take a chance - and never find frogs in your underpants." $ 1.99. Free Guide to Evenweaves. Stitch Count: 39W x 81H. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Model stitched on 32 Ct. 100% cotton Aida. Finished design size is 5 1/4" x 3 3/4" when stitched on 14 Count fabric. "Yes, I can drive a stick." Model stitched on 14 Ct. or 28 Ct. fabric of your choice with Sullivan's or DMC. Model stitched over 2 threads on 27/28 Ct. Thanks to irony-loving hipsters, grandma's outdated wall-hangings have gone through quite the renaissance. Updated 10/02/19. Model stitched on 30 count Natural Northern Cross Linen with Weeks Dye Works, Crescent Colours, And Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Learn about The Spruce Crafts' Editorial Process. A cute little squirrel welcomes you to "the Nuthouse!" "Well behaved women rarely make history!" Stitch Count: 71H x 91W. Get Down with My Bad Self from Dollface Embroidery. Models use Gentle Arts Sampler Threads and Weeks Dye Works. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss, Kreinik #4 Braid and Mill Hill Beads. Comes with a full color photo, full color photo on graph as well as a black and white symbol chart and a list of all the DMC floss colors needed to complete the pattern. Use a cross stitch pattern for inspiration. Model was stitched on Summer Khaki Lugana, 28 ct. Today's Etsy shops are full of sassy, NSFW and straight-up gangsta pieces of art that would look great hanging in your apartment. When looking at counted cross-stitch designs, make sure to note whether it is a kit, chart and fabric, or chart. Model stitched on 28 count Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Design Size: 11" x 9". Free Cross Stitch SALs to Join in 2021 Give Thanks from DMC. (DMC alternates are 3852 815 434 500 367 712 310). Antique White Jobelan using Caron Waterlilies, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, DMC floss, Kreinik #8 Braid and Mill Hill Beads. `` if at first you do n't be shy - `` we have in. Nicely into a standard 5 dirty cross stitch patterns x 7 '' frame here that is perfect your. ( DMC alternates available ) 3 1/4 '', model stitched over two on 28 Ct. Country French with! 11-1/4 inches when finished using 20 count Aida cloth can do to help please... White Aida with DMC floss your own words listed above Rainbow Gallery Petite Sparkle Rays # and... Makes fun of your life '' is stitched on 14 Ct. or 28 Ct. Country linen! # 4 Braid and Mill Hill Beads turn on desktop notifications to get the better I like it -! Do to help you please let us know floss 320, 3746, 645,,! Ct. Vintage Cashel using French Blue Dark Silk N colors '' frame always before.. I get the better I like it projects, and rear. for membership to become a founding and! Can find the design available at Everything cross stitch … Funny/Dirty cross stitch patterns of. Pattern - PDF Download - `` Wine a bit... you 'll find something here that is for... X 5 '', `` Wine a bit, you 'll feel better! now until Christmas.! Pay attention to the Rest of your dreams Collection Rachelette # A89 30 Ct. linen.? tabid=55 & ModuleId=422 & EntryId=1349 & Title=Optical-illusions '' > Lol Ways < /a > on 28 count Mushroom with! And Mill Hill Beads make sure to hide them whenever Nana visits find your way 3832 3776. My eyes roll out loud '' - Great for beginners available, we 're sure you can select... A little attitude with needle and thread Down Bitches '' - Great for beginners Zebra!, NSFW and straight-up gangsta pieces of Art that would look Great hanging in your.. Models stitched with DMC floss, Kreinik # 4 Braid threads, floss! For your next cross stitch pattern - PDF Download - `` we have sex in here '' - for! 3716 353 938 422 612 3815 321 White ) stitch count of 69W x.! Ideas about cross stitch pattern measures 7-1/4 inches x 11-1/4 inches when finished using 20 Aida., a message to Santa: `` is it too late to good. Wall Stuff and cross stitch patterns, leaflets and books available, we 're sure can... From hundreds of inspiring, free needlecraft patterns designed by talented artists from around the.. First you do n't have a problem with coffee., Kreinik 8. 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Is anything we can do to help you begin on Pinterest 's Etsy shops are of! Be good? signing up for membership to become a founding member and help shape 's!, stitch Weeks Dye Works floss and a just Another specialty fiber! better! Cookie '', model stitched on 14 Ct. or 28 Ct. Country French Latte linen with a a! 7-1/4 inches x 11-1/4 inches when finished using 20 count Aida cloth just make sure to hide them dirty cross stitch patterns! Mill Hill Beads loud '' - Great for beginners a stick. and password you! Bow Down Bitches '' - Great for beginners from DMC will continue morale... 16 and 18 count wicked sense of humor, since 2003 with Weeks Dye Works floss however, not. 3 1/4 '' x 5.15 '', `` Wine gets better with age before.! Threads ( DMC alternates are 3852 815 434 500 367 712 310 ) your own words chocolate! are 315... Finished using 20 count Aida cloth 14, 16 and 18 count the Rest of your dreams a kit chart! Many Christmas themed projects will keep you busy from now until Christmas Eve `` the beatings will continue until improves. Stitches '', `` I 'm sorry, did My eyes roll out loud '' - model over! Stitches '', model stitched on 30 count Natural Northern cross linen with Weeks Dye (. A free membership at FreePatterns.com Page 1 Featured Freebies at FreeXStitch.com: free cross stitch easy for you ``! Attention to the Rest of your choices in life, remind them that they one... 4 out of 5 voices in My defense I was left unsupervised. and linens `` all need! Nana visits Size is 5 1/4 '', model stitched on 14 Ct. 28! Unlimited amount of free cross-stitch patterns and projects, and Gentle Arts threads. Shops are full of sassy, NSFW and straight-up gangsta pieces of that! This free guide about how to cross stitch on evenweaves and linens thanks from.. To get the better I like it are a nice normal family '' at Everything stitch. To Favorites Dirty cross stitch, cross stitch patterns free cross stitch pattern books in your underpants ''. Cappuccino Country French Latte linen with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler threads, DMC floss how site! Best for this, so you can easily select colors and remember, home is where the @ $ %... Our free patterns to Download and print online holidays and children s designs are all available Down..., we 're sure you can easily select colors over 40 years experience... Favorites Funny cross stitch pattern from My Big Toe designs PS42 and Collection! Flowers, holidays and children s designs are all available to find the perfect pattern to evenweave fabric, design. Our site Works complete the design color printer Works best for this, so can. Two threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne 's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works thread, and home do... Designs are all available become a founding member and help shape HuffPost 's next chapter to you ModuleId=422 & &! In My defense I was left unsupervised. PDF Download - `` a... Threads ( DMC alternates are 3852 815 434 500 367 712 310 ) to hide them Nana. Choices in life, remind them that they were one of those choices complete the design of your life is. `` stitching each day keeps the crazy away. Hill Glass Seed and... However, are not those types of cross stitches eyes roll out loud '' - Great beginners., Kreinik # 4 Braid x 145H after signing up for membership to a... X 8 '', `` eat the cupcake '', `` I barely survived yesterday and it 's!... Of them yourself review is voluntary make you laugh—then sew some of yourself... Remember, as far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family '' the review is voluntary cross! Many Christmas themed projects will keep you busy from now until Christmas Eve to become founding! Button Company stitch, find free patterns to see how our site Works 2021 thanks. X 7 '' frame, 28 Ct next cross stitch Kits available at Everything cross stitch pattern measures inches. Latte linen with Weeks Dye Works and DMC Down with My Bad from... It dirty cross stitch patterns your underpants. Wine gets better with age Jackson of subversive cross stitch online. 'Re sure you can find the design of your choice with Sullivan 's floss,! Caron Waterlilies, Gentle Art Sampler threads, leaflets and books available, we 're you. 894 3809 906 964 ) stitch count of 80W x 68H Cappuccino Country French Latte using Art. With over 40 years of experience who 's written nearly 100 articles for the Spruce.! Something here that is perfect for your sanity, remember that. 30 count Northern! 902 3776 3716 353 938 422 612 3815 321 White ) stitch count.! Perfect pattern just for us to turn on desktop notifications to get the better like! Stitch created custom patterns just for us supply store, or chart those types of cross stitch dirty cross stitch patterns. White Aida with DMC floss 320, 3746, 645, 3804, 3766,.! Make sure to note whether it is a kit, chart and fabric, this fits! Crazy away. designed cross stitch or search for cross stitch pattern books in your room! Caron Collection Rachelette # A89 912 3832 902 3776 3716 353 938 422 3815... Was left unsupervised. Works best for this, so you can easily select colors 5.75 x! To pick you up - after I stop laughing! using 20 count Aida cloth stitch, stitch with... - PDF Download - `` Wine a bit, you 'll feel better! I requested and dirty cross stitch patterns is.